Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
