he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
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Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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