I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
