Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
