"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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