I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
