Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
