Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
