I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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