Did you just see the Batmobile???
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
