I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
