wat bout pragnant strippers??
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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