I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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