their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I am available for nakedness
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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