There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
