I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
