dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
