absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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