bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
