i just google imaged poop.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
