let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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