She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
