It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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