I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
