I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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