we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize