I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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