my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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