I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
