Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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