Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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