Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
