I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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