dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize