I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Success! We fucked roommates!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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