Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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