ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
