Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
