The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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