do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
