im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
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he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
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He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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