I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
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It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
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We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
COCAINE IS GR8
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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