I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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