you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
