omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
