More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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