how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
