I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
