I haven't been this sober since birth.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
