I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
where am i from again
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
