I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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