Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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