Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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