Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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