I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
