well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
