David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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