Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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