When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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