I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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