And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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