ugly people sure do ruin things
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
