Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
