It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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