I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
