This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
