ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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