There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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