she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
